Cleavage at cracker barrel

Took the kids for a meal at cracker barrel...minus W. That is. While his goatness assailed my sense he assures me that he "took a shower yesterday and reaaly doesn't need to take another". After discovering that he in fact has decided to boycott personal hygiene, I informed him that his choices are indeed his own, I am under no obligation to escort him to a restaurant. So he's home smelling it up in a show of indepence and defiance. Rock on W!

In the meantime L and C enjoyed some after lunch candy.

Lazarus

Yes, we're alive. Yes, I'm a terrible mother because when I went back to work almost a year ago I apparently forgot how to operate a keyboard within the confines of my house. Either that or after 8hrs of staring at reports and/or spreadsheets my brains leaked out my ear and I couldn't figure out how to turn the computer on.

You figure out which.

Whelp, I'm back on board and will be updating in the next few days. SO much news, so little time. We'll start with a tidbit: I have injured my.......(wait for it) groin. *whispering furtively because groin is like the word "moist" and just isn't uttered in polite company*.

Rain, Rain- Go Away!

Can you see the smiles? Can you? My kids are like the "water witches" of mud. It's like a gift. A gift from a very sarcastic, very twisted member of upper management.

W. got his progress report!

Pay special attention to the comments dated 4-23.

4-23: W's grades are good. He needs to work on behavior and manners, ie, not burping in students faces or saying inappropriate things.

All I'm saying is that I'm making his dad sign this one.

Becoming a Cockroach

Written by W. for a school assignment. (typed verbatim)

Page 1.

I got done watching t.v. and I went to my room. I got ready for bed and went to sleep. I could feel the weight of my cat curling up on top of me.

Page 2.

Ought of a sudden, I got squashed by my cat and I woke up. My cat saw me and tried to eat me.

Page 3.

I scurried to my door and my cat chased me. My mom saw me and she tried to squash me

Page 4.

I ran out of the house and knew I would never see my family again. I ran into the street and almost got hit by a car.

Page 5.

I went into the grass and a bird tried to eat me. I saw other roaches and I lived with them.

Page 6.

The next morning I woke up and found out it was just a dream.

Fun with mustard

There was a moment of silence in my house today.

No, it wasn't mourning, or even remotely respectful. It was dire warning of catastrophe to come.

Every parent of young children knows what that quick moment of quiet means. STAINS! BLOOD! POISON CONTROL!

Fully expecting such a sight, I rounded the living room corner only to see C. emptying the mustard bottle onto Max The Dog's back. I must have made some kind of noise warning him of my approach because he pivoted, thrust the bottle into L.'s hands and stood there...gaping in open-mouthed bewilderment at what his sister had done.

"I didn't do anything!" C. announced. (He says that everytime he's caught actually doing something.

"What's this then?" I say, gesturing at The Dog's mustard-back.

"Oooooh, look what LLLLLLLLL did!!" he said. Pointing. "You're in troublllllle!" C. scoffed.

If only I were so naive.

I am now a Harvard Reject

I found out yesterday that I didn't get into Harvard.

The transition from Harvard Hopeful to Harvard Reject took me some getting used to.




comments include:

Cookie's Human
March 3rd, 2008 at 6:16 am

Feedback from Buyer: Ordered “beautiful, well behaved orange kitteh. Received Cat out of Hell. Dealer refuses all attempts at communication. Will not deal with him again.

Feedback from Dealer: Buyer is stoopid liar. Shuld be banned from Ebay. Sent buyer the exact cat he ordered; contents must have shifted in mail. Not my fault; will not refund any money.



found here: crazy cat pics